The Custodian of My Transgressions

The Custodian of My Transgressions 

by Patrick Pomeroy   

  You held me in your arms,
  But not for very long. 
I cried for your milk. I nursed until you bled.  

 I needed your love..your warmth. 
 You could barely stand it.
 I was writhing and couldn’t know 
Your thoughts. What was in your head. 

I but an animal enough to know 
What was not in your heart. 

  Later in my young life you would 
Retreat. 
 From all that was maternal, 
All that I needed for my child’s  
Heart to beat..and my soul to eat.    

  To your room where you slept a  
 Narcotic sleep. So my child’s eyes  
Did they begin to weep.

Past a nirvana of your own making,
I a child I couldn’t reach.
With slips of words about love,

So instead I reached inside myself,
|To write to you…For the pain you
Could not bear.

Finally you arrived, bleary eyed and
Bored. Even though in my child’s heart
It was always you that I adored.

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